WHERE is resiliency when we continue to suspend work and classes due to bad weather conditions, instead of shifting to a mode proven effective during the pandemic experience? Have we optimized blended learning in school? Are enterprises open to work-from-home setup? With an average of 20 typhoons a year and being in the ring of fire, have we learned resiliency? With 45 percent of Filipino families rating themselves as poor, are we developing resiliency or learned helplessness? What do we need to learn, relearn and unlearn?
Resilience is the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands. A number of factors contribute to how well people adapt to adversities, predominantly among them are the ways in which individuals view and engage with the world, the availability and quality of resources, and specific coping strategies (according to the American Psychological Association). Research findings guarantee that resources and skills associated with more positive adaptation, or greater resilience, can be cultivated and practiced.
Survival through the pandemic is never enough for those people who can turn adversities to opportunities and where the helplessness and hopelessness may be transformed into hopefulness and helpfulness. There is a form of intelligence which determines if one can go through the turbulence of life and ascend towards the next level of success and happiness, no matter what. This intelligence is called adversity quotient.
Adversity quotient (AQ) as a theory
Success in life is largely determined by AQ, according to Paul Stoltz (1997). Neither intelligence quotient (IQ) and emotional intelligence (EQ) appear to determine one’s success. AQ presents a complementary conceptual framework for understanding and enhancing all facets of success, as well as a scientifically grounded tool to measure how one responds to adversity.
AQ tells us how well one withstands adversity and the ability to surmount it. It becomes an indicator of who will exceed and who will fall short of the expectations of performance. AQ predicts who gives up and who prevails.
AQ is anchored on cognitive psychology, neurophysiology and psychoneuroimmunology.
The quitter, the camper and the climber
Even if it is a core human drive to ascend — forward and upward — the mountaintop remains uncrowded by peak achievers, while the base of the mountain remains comparatively populated.
We encounter quitters — people who choose to opt out, cop out, back out and drop out to abandon the climb. They lead compromised lives, abandoning their dreams to take the easy path. In the end, they suffer far greater pain than that which they attempted to avoid in climbing. They use language of limitations full of excuses.
There are also campers — those who go only so far to become weary and terminate the ascent upon the discovery of a smooth comfortable plateau on which to hide from adversity. Campers create a “comfortable prison” in the camp yard satisfied with sufficing rather than striving. They are strongly motivated by comfort in their cozy little camp yard and by fear of losing ground. Over time, the campers lose the ability to climb, and do not reach their full potential.
The third type of people are the climbers who are dedicated to lifelong ascent and the only type that lives life fully. They are possibility thinkers, never allowing any obstacle to get in their way to the ascent, who never forgets the power of the journey over the destination. Climbers feel a deep sense of purpose and passion for what they do. They acknowledge that setbacks are a natural part of the ascent and that change is inevitable but since they are catalysts for action, they make things happen. As they grow weary in the climb, climbers rejuvenate and re-energize for the ascent ahead towards their envisioned mountaintop. They understand adversity as part of life — by avoiding adversity, one avoids life.
AQ separates climbers from campers and quitters. When the going gets tough, quitters give up and campers entrench, while climbers dig in and ascend.
Developing the CORE of AQ
AQ comprises four CORE elements namely control, origin and ownership, reach and endurance. Here are some ways to develop AQ.
Take over the control of your life, even in times of adversity. Make good choices of controlling what you can control, and take actions within your circle of influence. It makes you more in control.
Be accountable for the outcomes, regardless of whether the origin of the adversity is internal or external. Blaming others is projection and is mere use of a defense mechanism to protect the ego. Take a proactive perspective of finding an accurate and fair degree of self-blame, which enlarges control and empower yourself through reflection, learning, action and motivation.
Limit the reach of the problem to the situation at hand. Contain or compartmentalize the reach of the adversity in your life, and, in effect, you will feel more empowered and less overwhelmed. It will enable you to think clearly, focus, and take action.
Consider adversity and its causes to be temporary (and not a misfortune written by the stars), fleeting and unlikely to recur, which in effect bolster your ability to survive life’s darkest moments and greatest challenges. Endure with reasonable optimism that the recurrence of adversity is least likely because of the lessons we are learning neither as quitters nor as campers but rather as climbers ascending to become greater humans.
Three secrets toward resilience
Lucy Hone, a crisis expert and researcher, provides her lessons of resiliency through a devastating lived experience of a parental grieving process.
First, acknowledge that suffering and adversity are part of life. Adversity does not discriminate and will happen to you, just like they do to everybody else. It offers the choice for you to sink or swim, amid a seemingly perfect life you display on social media.
Second, choose carefully where to focus attention. Have a realistic appraisal of the situations, and manage to focus on the things that you can change, and somehow accept the things that you can’t. While humans are hardwired for the negative, we need to intentionally focus on the positive.
Third, focus on what is helping (not harming) you. Be kind to yourself and entertain the positive aspects of the situation. While optimism is a cognitive bias, it places priority on feeling good that jumpstarts a realistic outlook that improves the chance to navigate the environment more successfully.
In physics, resilience is the ability of an elastic material, like rubber, to absorb energy and release that energy as it springs back to its original shape. But humans are surely capable beyond going back to its original shape only. We learn — and its prerequisite is unlearning and relearning. If the pandemic did not kill us, it should make us more resilient.
Title: The intelligence we need to be resilient
Source: The Manila Times